Women Drivers, Pt. 2

Women drivers are never a boring story. The following is a TRUE story: A blonde lady was driving down the interstate and started to have a funny noise and 'vibration' in her vehicle. The car then just turned off and rolled to a stop. Here's why:


This blonde ran over a mattress and decided to keep going. The ensuing jumble finally whipped around the bottom of the vehicle enough to put a tear in the gas tank. The subsequent lack of fuel is what finally brought this vehicle to its knees. It had still managed to drive 30 more miles decently with a 60lb tangle wrapped around the driveshaft. This blonde complained that the vehicle had a "shimmy" when driving at high speeds.

This is what the dealership found . . .

Did you Know?

Ever watch those short video clips that show you random statistics about a scattering of daily and well known facts that compound into something amazing? Well....

Cell Phone Hackers

So, there has been a lot of chatter in the news lately about how someone can take over your cell phone without you even knowing. They can listen in on your calls, read your text messages, and even use your phone's gps to locate you. They can also turn on your phone's microphone and listen in on a conversation you are having face to face with someone. This can all be done without you ever realizing it. Here are some tips on how to avoid becoming a victim.

Here is how they work..

This is software someone downloads directly into the phone, using the phones web browser and Internet connection. The software then captures all the options the user selects (SMS, Call Logs, Email, call monitoring, microphone activation, GPS location) and uses the phones Internet connection to send it to their private web account where they can view it from any computer or cell phone. It will also send them the text messages direct and allow them to listen to all your phone traffic in real time…

To gain access to the phone the software is either loaded via Bluetooth or an Internet Connection.

With the Bluetooth option the spy can load the software from any location close enough to the phone to connect. (up to 60 feet) To prevent the Bluetooth loading you must either turn off Bluetooth or disable the “Allow Bluetooth device to discover this connection”

To load from the web they must have physical access to your phone. It is strongly recommended that you password protect you phone so it locks when you do not use it for a certain period…

Keep in mind this type of program also works on laptops. (anything with Bluetooth and Internet connections) You may want to turn off the Bluetooth feature on your laptop if you are not using it…

How do I know if my phone is bugged?

One of the few ways to check and see if your phone is infected is to check and see if the phone is set up for an “Internet Access Point” and seeing if the location of the point is something other than your Phone company. Anything like flexspy, phonespy, or any other name you do not recognize may indicate your phone is bugged. (Check with you phone provider before you delete or change this) This is not foolproof but is one of the few ways for the user to locate the software. Some of the programs even block the ability of you to see this information.

Other things to look for to determine if your phone is infected include

• You seem to have trouble shutting it off, or it stays lit up after you’ve powered down.
• The phone sometimes lights up when you aren’t making or receiving a call, or using any other function.
• You regularly hear odd background noises or clicks when you’re on the phone.
  

Walmart Drug Delivery Boys

There might be a reason that Walmart is able to sell those $4 prescription durgs. Their delivery boys are illegal immigrants that drive 100 mph. Unfortunately, they were pulled over in Utah after getting behind in deliveries all over Utah and Nevada.



[ABC 4 News] "Iron County Deputy Wade Lee says Diego Jimenez, Maricio Jimenez, and Kyle Gutierrez were on their way to the Cedar City Wal-Mart. They were stopped on Northbound I-15 at mile marker 45, where Deputy Lee clocked them driving 96 miles per hour.

Lee says he grew suspicious when he saw a marijuana pipe in the glove compartment. After searching the car, he found two boxes of prescription narcotics. The stock invoice found with the drugs shows the retail value is over $30,000.

Lee says two of the men admitted to being illegal aliens. The driver said he's been delivering prescription drugs for a company called "Nevada Courier" for several months. Lee explains, “He said ‘I was sitting at home and somebody called me and paid me $150 and a tank of gas to drive these medications down here and drop them off.’”

Police say the men are from Las Vegas. They had made a delivery in Mesquite, two in Saint George, and their fourth delivery would have been in Cedar City. Lee says, “I called Wal-Mart and they said yeah they were expecting a delivery and the driver was late.”

Don't Download Movies in Mexico!

You may be really excited from my previous posts on how to download movies, but don't take it too far. Case in point: Recently a man went to Mexico and used the wireless card he received from his cell phone company to download Wall-E for his nephew. He got a bill for $62,000.


Now that's one expensive movie. If you're going to Mexico please unplug/disable/leave at home your wireless card for your laptop. Its idiots like this that disgrace our gender. "Luckily" his cell phone provider was able to lower his bill to their cost: $17,000.

If Only Fletch Were Real....I'd Take Him

Here's the deal. You have a gun held to your head b a mob boss. He says you must create a NBA franchise that will win it all. All players are in their prime and we play in today's era of play. Who do you take with your first pick? The argument could come down to Shaq, Kareem, Johnson and others but for arguments sake I think it comes down to Lebron vs Jordan. Here's my take...

Lebron is a good guy, a great teammate, and a phenom of a player. He gets to the hole and is starting to play ferocious D. He can post up big man and guard ball handlers, he really is what a video game drew up. One could argue that he hasn't peaked and will only improve his jump shot and his D. And if he did that, the holes in his game would be forced to say the least.




However, with that said I would still take Jordan. And it doesn't even come down to any physical or basketball stats pulled. It's simply, if I was a GM and had to build a winning franchise around a player that would win the title that year - it would be Jordan. Nevermind that Jordan averaged 35pts a game one year, nevermind that he never lost a play-off series in his prime, nevermind that Jordan was named Defensive player of the year 10 times. Jordan simply had that killer instinct that drove fear into the other players. He talked trash, he played in your face D, and demanded the ball at crunch time. Lebron can take a game over but easily passes it off. He doesn't posses that instinctive desire to win! Jordan would cheat in poker against your grandma.He wouldn't have gotten swept by the Spurs a few years ago that's for sure. I think the final point that needs to be made is that Jordan took down Dumars, Bird, Johnson, Wilk, Barkley, Hakeem, Stockton v Malone, Kemp v Payton, Clyde Drexler, Starks v Ewing on in their primes and made them look weak. He didn't lose a SINGLE play-off series in his prime with a surprisingly crappy team. That's my choice, what's yours?

For all your rodent control needs...

Here's a solution to anyone's burrowing rodent problems. Make sure you listen to the commentary. This guy really knows how to sell the animal rights activists on this product. I think this product is just a childhood dream being realized. I know I would have put it to good use in my parents' backyard.

Nacho meets HP

For all you Nacho Libre and Harry Potter fans out there, I found 2 videos that you might really enjoy. Basically this guy took audio from Nacho and put it to video clips of Harry Potter. Enjoy!




Part 1


Part 2


For you Leonitis fans out there, here's a clip with audio from the 300 trailer and Nacho video.

Stalk Your Friends

GoogleMaps 3.0 for mobile phones just came out with a new feature called Latitude. Basically it makes your phone location aware and lets your friends see where you are on a map. If you have never used GoogleMaps on your phone, you're seriously missing out:




GoogleMaps does require an internet connection on your phone. If you don't have internet on your phone plan, you're not a man.

That being said here's some highlights of GoogleMaps Mobile:

• You can use it instead of paper maps. Throw those away!
  
• GPS enabled phones (like some Blackberry's) pinpoint your exact location and provide real-time driving directions. Other phones can get a pretty good idea of where they are.
  
• GoogleLatitude. It connects you and friends to see in real-time where people are.
• Satellite view and StreetView are both included.
• Traffic routing. Avoid traffic jams.
  
• Business listings (like 411)

Before you start complaining about GoogleLatitude and privacy, you can disable it. But it could help you recover your cellphone (read this story). Its primarily meant to be a social networking tool. Either way its worth the test drive on your phone. Go and download it straight to your phone at GoogleMaps Mobile.


ps- for those of you who have Blackberry's without the official Blackberry internet services (like me) let me know and I can help you with an install over your USB cable and computer.

Susan Boyle - Britain's Got Talent

From the very beginning you can see this coming. I mean, the way she dresses to the way she responds to the judges questions; another person seeking their 3 seconds of fame by acting like a fool. It's still very worth your time.



Be honest, what do you think?

Embedding has been disabled by request (Spoon to the rescue)

This is Susan Boyle:

The Kid is Back

After almost a decade, a few injuries, and a few extra pounds Ken Griffey Jr. stepped up once again as a Mariner to the plate of the house the he built. Ken Griffey earned the nickname "The Kid" as a 19 year prowling the outfield of the Kingdome nearly 20 years ago. From barreling into and scrambling up the outfield walls to his unmistakable swagger when he had hit the sweet spot, Ken Griffey Jr. lived "life without walls."

Two seasons ago Ken Griffey Jr. was very hesitant about returning as a visitor to the town who had once loved him so much. Prior to the 2000 season Griffey requested to be traded to the Cincinnati Reds and left the people of Seattle with a sour taste in their mouth. When Griffey stepped onto the field at Safeco in 2007 he received a standing ovation from a town that had forgotten any bitter feelings. For the entire weekend that the Reds were in town Seattle was abuzz. The weather was beautiful and the Safeco field was packed with people rising from their seats every time The Kid stepped to plate in hoe to catch a glimpse of the the good ol' days. During Griffey's visit to Seattle he teased the fans by mentioning that he would like to return to Seattle as a Mariner before retiring.

The of 2008 was not a good year in sports for the city of Seattle. The Mariners expected to lead their division, but lost over 100 games. The Supersonics were relocated to Oklahoma City as the Thunder. The Seahawks had a very uneventful season and the Huskies went 0-12. The woes of 2008 seemed to quickly slip to the back of Seattle's mind as Griffey stepped onto Safeco Field Tuesday night once again as a Mariner. Even though the good ol' days are probably gone along with flannel shirts, the return of Seattle's son has been accompanied with a 6-2 start for the M's. Even though it is still too early to predict, the return of Griffey brings a new hope for sports in Seattle and possibly some great baseball in October.

Epic Fail

Construction can be complicated, but who installs random doors? I wonder if anyone got paid extra for this idea...




[FAIL Blog.org] posts pictures of epic fails. Here's an example:



Enjoy the blog that thrives on other people's failures.

See more at FAIL Blog.org.

The Tiger Classic

As written by Ted Bauer...

The Masters starts today (here's the official ESPN The Magazine preview). One of the truest things our dad ever said: "Tournament is great and all, but how much will I care if Tiger Woods isn't within five strokes on Sunday?" It's fun when an underdog wins, but part of watching golf right now is watching for Tiger. Because we aren't golf experts, we decided to approach The Masters from a different angle: since Woods, like Peyton Manning, endorses virtually every product under the sun—we thought we'd rank the best Tiger Woods commercials of all-time. Now, sadly, we're not advertising experts either. We do, however, watch a lot of TV (inside info: there's some high-level stuff on ABC Family) and we know what we like. Tiger's been in some classic ads; here now is one attempt at ordering 'em.


Best ever commercial, you decide.

Here it is. Try to watch it and not cry. It's literally almost impossible. "I said 'Tiger, I promise you, you'll never meet a person as mentally tough as you in your entire life. And he hasn't. And he never will.'" Amazing. Sidebar question to debate with your friends: is this the best NIKE ad ever? Other candidates are here, here and here.

Idiot Test

Take the idiot test. And then read on...



Feel like an idiot?

Alright, since I made you feel like an idiot here. Take the time to look at this blog because it's priceless. Plus, you get to look at other idiots.

http://failblog.org/

Sportscenter Not Top 10

Overall I always love the not top 10s but the #1 on this countdown is just priceless. People ask why Women's the game isn't as popular? Why were not that into it? Why do we think its a complete joke? Why do we think they play like 'poop? Watch....

DIY Despair Poster Contest

Though we all know and love the anti-motivational posters of despair.com, there is nothing better than a quality homemade one. For this reason we are holding a contest for the best homemade anti-motivational poster (open now until Friday the 10th). Read on for the rules, examples of great homemade posters, and a link to the DIY Despair Poster Generator.



Images must be emailed to jppistachio@gmail.com (addressed to Joe, my alter ego) before 5 P.M. on Friday the 10th. Extra points are given to submissions using the picture of the fake ninja turtle guys (which can be accessed here) but all submissions will be accepted.

Although not required. It would probably make your life easier to use despair.com's DIY Poster Generator. There will be a prize awarded for the best submitted entry and the winner will be decided by a panel of judges and voting on the man-log (American Idol style).


Below are examples of the glory of a homemade despair poster:














Click to open to view a bigger version, it'll be funnier when you do.

IKEA Takes over GMC

IKEA has launched its plan to takeover GMC. We are in serious trouble.....




Some Assembly required